How are the Children Doing?

By Sadiki Muhammad — September 25, 2019

“In youth we learn, in age we understand.”

-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Over the summer, I had the pleasure of attending the Advanced Training of Champions’ seminar as an intern for Akoben. In my first encounter with this work, I participated in one of the communication exercises where everyone in the room was organized into one large restorative circle. As a part of the initial training, Dr. Malik Muhammad opened the circle with a single question, “How are the kids doing?” Prior to our discussion, Dr. Muhammad explained the question’s history as a greeting between Masaai warriors. “Kasserian Ingera?” is a question rooted in the Kenyan tradition, emphasizing the importance of children.

In responding to the question, several champions conveyed their respects for today’s generation with words like “strong, resourceful, and resilient”. In retrospect, I believe that such optimism is honorable. However, we must acknowledge that, in the United States, there exists a system that murders black children, alienates refugees, and segregates Muslims. Families are torn apart between bullets from mass shootings and borders from corrupt politicians. As a young, black member of this society, I am not comfortable with accepting these problems as normal. In order to change the narrative of our youth, I believe we must confront these issues head-on. Where there is beauty in the resilience of youth, there also remains the ugly truth of their struggle. It is time for all of society to contribute towards a space of vulnerability and sensitivity. The youth should not continue to suffer from the inadequacies of their predecessors.

The traditional response to Kasserian Ingera is, “All the children are well”, a confirmation of the warriors’ priorities: peace in the community. As warriors of change, our champions have the responsibility to educate the children on these values. Restorative education can be cultivated within the mindset of each generation before the punitive cycle continues. Exposure for our youth is crucial to their progression as a collective. Subsequently, our youth are accountable for continuing the formula for change (Connection+Challenge=Change) amongst each other. Eventually, the failures of the punitive system will create a space for restorative work. Still, the question we must ask ourselves now is, “When will the children be well?”

The Talking Piece: Strategies for Helping Our Students Honor It

By Bilphena Yahwon — April 19, 2019

Here’s the Good News

You’re not crazy. Children of all ages (and adults too) sometimes have trouble honoring the talking piece. Even when they’ve agreed to its principles and deeply appreciate the permission it gives them to speak and to be listened to, they call out of turn, interrupt and seem not to respect the dialogue circle process. We’ll explore reasons for this behavior below, but first things first: students appearing to discount the talking piece is not uncommon or abnormal. And sometimes just knowing that provides a little relief.

So, Why Can’t My Students Honor the Talking Piece???

The key word here is can’t. When our students don’t honor the talking piece, they’re either experiencing a problem or lacking a skill…or both. Any number of issues may be preventing them from exercising the control required in circle (they’re hungry, tired or overwhelmed with a personal dilemma, etc.). And the lagging skills are perhaps just as plentiful.

Here are some skills that may be underdeveloped and therefore contributing to our children’s inability to show up as the best versions of themselves in circle:

Flexibility
Regulating emotion
Seeing other points of view
Frustration tolerance
Expressing concerns and needs
Ability to think of multiple solutions
Problem-solving
Handling transitions
Ability to wait, plan in sequence and complete a task

The Only Way Forward is Together

Imparting circle skills requires us to work shoulder to shoulder with our students, to operate in the with box. Our ultimate goals are to model and (often explicitly teach) the thinking and behavioral skills necessary to honor the talking piece and to solve any talking piece issues together. Use the following exemplars to determine where you currently stand.

Restorative Strategies for Helping Students Honor the Talking Piece

No one ever said dialogue circles would always be easy! But they’re certainly worth it. As you work to support your students in strengthening their circle skills, please give some of the following strategies a try:

Work to show up in circle in the same way you ask your students to show up.
Determine the ideal time to circle up and identify other antecedents to circle success.
Create a ceremony that indicates the circle process has begun.
Incorporate cognitive skills and SEL competencies into circle rounds.
Captivate your audience with a good story.
Problem-solve on the spot.
Create the conditions for student control and fun.
Join them (if you can’t beat them).
Take the circle process outdoors.

How Adult Mindset Can Make This Whole Thing a Little Easier

As with most things in life, how we approach the talking piece conundrum matters. For our own peace of mind, it’s important to remember that challenging behavior is a signal and not the actual problem. Challenging behavior alerts us to a capacity issue—when it surfaces, we know that what is being asked of our students is beyond their current ability. Not honoring the talking piece is most likely about student skill and not about student will. Framing the issue this way is helpful and aids and amplifies the impact of the protocol and strategies that follow.

Understanding Circles Part 4: A Site for Social Justice

By Dr. Malik Muhammad — December 29, 2017

There is no doubt that leadership is critically important. Often, the quality of leadership in an organization, community and classroom determine both its direction and significant outcomes. However, we are constantly reminded of the hierarchy of leadership in Western culture. The symbols of power, from where people sit in a meeting to who gets called by a title vs their first name, are sometimes subtle reminders of who is in charge and who is not. It is a short leap to see how this might play out in systems rife with patriarchy, racism and bias. In light of this, the Circle itself is not only something that can build relationships and help solve challenges, but it can be a space for equity and social justice.

For those of use committed to both creating environments and communities of restoration and empowerment and dismantling systems of oppression, the circle is a symbol and tool for action. Regardless of the content of the circle, which can range from focusing on business goals for the upcoming week to reintegrating a person recovering from addiction back into the community, the structure and nature of the Circle, when practiced with a Restorative mindset, promotes equity and inclusion. Here is how:

First, the shape itself. There is no head of the circle, everyone can be seen and there is equal access to voices and information shared.

Second, when we implement the best practices outlined in parts 1-3 of this series, then the facilitator becomes the ‘guide on the side, not sage on the stage.’ Their role is primarily to facilitate collective participation and a restorative process.

Lastly, when these first two things happen, the magic in the Circle encourages participants to authentically share, thereby helping others to see their humanity.

The Circle can be a microcosm of the kind of organizations, communities, classrooms and families that we want to create. These are the spaces where misogyny, bigotry and racism can’t breathe or are confronted head on. Imagine environments where your positional authority doesn’t determine the value of your contribution, but even the quietest voices are given space to be heard.

Leadership is critically important, especially when leaders help create environments where they are not the most important voice in the room. The Circle helps us do just that!

Understanding Circles Part 3-Relational Dynamics and Processing

By Steve Korr — November 28, 2017

This is part three of a five part series. If you missed our first two sections, be sure to check out part one and part two!

Now that you have established an appropriate tone , you are ready to run your circle. Remember, a successful restorative circle is contingent upon the facilitators utmost awareness during the process. Paying attention to relational dynamics during the circle and allowing time for personal processing at the end ensures that you maximize the benefits of restorative circles.

Relational Dynamics

While running the circle, make sure to pay close attention to individual reactions and interactions between members. Does it feel “safe”? Are people respecting each other? Is anyone being excluded? Who are the leaders? Who has the social power to seemingly change the tone whenever they want? Give the members an opportunity to reflect and share on how they have been impacted by the circle experience. Outside of intentional bullying or potentially harmful situations, you should simply observe and take note of most of these dynamics. You are gathering great data on how participants are functioning as a community and you can use this data to determine how to use future circle experiences to connect, challenge and change your community for the better. Again, it’s all about relationships!

Processing

Finally, to feel more comfortable and confident in running restorative circles, take time to engage in personal reflection and processing. As with any skill acquisition process, time for feedback and review is critical. Here are a few processing questions to use to help you increase your confidence as a circle facilitator:

How am I feeling? Did I feel comfortable and confident?
Was I prepared?
Was I clear with my expectations/directions?
Did I notice anything I was proud of? Concerned about?
What will I do about this?
Did I address all concerns and disruptions?
Did I draw attention to positive dynamics?
Did anyone dominate the process or did all share equally?
Did the task involve appropriate depth/risk?
Was there a consistent, positive tone?
What does this circle experience say about how my class is functioning as a community?
Will I do anything differently next time? Keep the same?
Do I need any further support?

Make sure to take note of your responses to these questions and use them as a reference point when initiating future restorative circles. Remember, change and progress occurs when consciousness is activated!

Stay tuned for part 4 of this series!

Understanding Circles Part 2 – Preparation and Logistics

By Steve Korr — October 30, 2017

Once you have decided to implement restorative circles, you may experience some anxiety surrounding circle facilitation. But why? First, anything that carries any weight usually invokes a degree of nervousness. If you understand the critical role that circles can play in creating a healthy community, you may look at circle facilitation as a fairly daunting task. Additionally, many people are more comfortable with maintaining a high level of control in their environments. Therefore, using their authority in a more collaborative fashion that gives increased voice to those they serve will, most likely, produce some angst. So, what are you to do? Here are two essential principles to help launch powerful restorative circles:

Plan and Prepare

As is the case for many things in life, preparation is crucial to the success of your circle. Prior to running the circle, review your goals and determine how the circle will function in service of your objectives. Remember, circles are ultimately used to deepen connection and community. It’s all about relationships! Have a clear plan in place, including a written agenda. This plan should consist of a check/warm-up, brief directions for a circle activity or a short list of intentional go-around questions and a final processing question. Be aware that flexibility is very important in circle facilitation. If the community needs to move in a different direction because it is important for their development, allow this to happen. Also, make sure you have enough time to allow for the completion of the circle activity. This does not need to be a lot of time, often 5 – 8 minutes is plenty. Some brief check-ins can be 2 minutes. There will be times when a longer process is warranted. You will begin to notice when these times are needed and can plan accordingly.

Shape

The shape of the circle is important. Make sure everybody can see and hear each other with minimal effort. Identical chairs arranged in a relatively tight circle is best, however you may need to be creative in this regard. Short circles, where participants are standing, can also be used. Use warm-up go-around questions until the tone of the circle is relaxed, attentive and willing. If some participants appear distracted by being next to certain peers, one option to address this is to ask the group if everyone if comfortable with their location in the circle. If some participants need to relocate within the circle, allow them to quickly do so with no need for explanation and thank them for their willingness to care for themselves and the community.

Now that you have ironed out the logistics, you are ready to run your circle! Look out for our third part of this series in which we will discuss the process of facilitating your circle!